Don't forget to read the Disclaimers
One of the easiest, yet most overlooked, tricks in improv performance is the simple act of speaking definitively. When you are on stage, and the time comes for you to say anything, what comes out of your mouth should be clear, to the point, and most of all said in a loud, steady, unwavering voice – as if to say “I know exactly what the hell I’m talking about.”
All too often, players on stage speak in mumbled, meek, meager, tones of voice. Using as few words as they can, trying to be as vague as possible, some players fear committing to anything that will come back to haunt them later. Almost whispering, they end their lines with imaginary little question marks, hoping beyond hope that no one heard what they just said for fear of being “wrong”.
Other times, players decide that the best course of action is to rapidly blurt out as many words as possible, heaping one outrageous statement onto the next; the assumption being that the law of large numbers will be on their side, and somehow, magically, if they say enough in one sentence and overwhelm the enemy with verbal assaults then something in there must certainly be “right”.
And then amazingly, strange as it may seem, the scene goes absolutely nowhere.
And that’s a shame, because the whole ugly mess is so easy to avoid. How? By speaking simple lines, keeping them (more or less) focused on “the point”, and above all else saying your lines with conviction.
- The Fears -
The 900 pound elephant that prevents people from speaking confidently on stage is the fact that what we are doing is… improv. It’s all made up right on the spot. There is no script and, as a player, you have no idea what is going to happen next or what your partner is going to do or say. Add to this is the much overused statistic that the number 2 fear for most people is speaking in public (the number 1 fear being death): so at a funeral most people would rather be in the casket that delivering the eulogy. Finally, there is the all pervasive and constant assumption (false though it may be) that you must be funny, right this very second, or somehow you are failing to be a good performer.
Well, those are all very good points. They also happen to be total crap. Why? Because while they seem quite real and might instill in us the near debilitating fear of performing in front of an audience, the fact is these problems only exist inside our heads in that magical land of make-believe. So let’s take a moment to dispel some of the myths:
- Forget what you know about improv -
How can you know what to say if you are making it up as you go? Ok, you can’t. But guess what? No one cares. Really, no one. See, the audience came to see an improv show and, possessing the ability to read beyond a third-grad level (well, for most of the them anyway), the audience already knows that the word “improv” means making things up on the spot. The very people you are performing for know that you are flying without a net. They realize this and, believe it or not, are “on your side”. Since the audience knows that anything you say is being made up at that very moment, they are going to cut you all the slack in the world just for the very fact that you had the guts to try.
But what about my fear of public speaking? Alright, I admit, this is no easy fear to overcome. You sat in the audience, nervously waiting for a game that you can play. You tentatively raised your hand, almost wishing that you will not be picked. But (gasp!) you were. And now your on stage and staring at 150 pairs of eyes, all looking right back at you and demanding to be entertained. Right now. By you.
It’s not easy thing to do, and I have all the sympathy and respect in the world for anyone that tries. All I can tell you is that, at least at FNI, we do everything in our power to make it as easy as possible to perform. You hear the “Failure is OK” rule every night at the show – but now, standing there on stage as the host is getting the suggestions that you will be using in all of about thirty seconds, with your stomach churning and you sphincter clenched to the diameter of a micron, and those eyes… those damm 150 pairs of eyes … if they would just stop staring….this, this is where you learn to love the FIOK rule.
But you know what? Failure is OK. And that’s not just some principle that we espouse at FNI, it is a truisms of improv. Anyone who has ever performed improv has, at one time or another, failed. Anyone who has ever watched improv has seen it go badly. So you know what? We are all (performers and audience alike) intimately familiar with failure. And so if by some chance you do end up failing, trust me, it wasn’t the first time we’ve ever seen it and it damm sure will not be the last.
Last but not least: The notion that every single word that comes out of your mouth has to be funny. It doesn’t. Every time someone laughs, and angle dies.
Ok, so much for what you shouldn’t worry about. What should you do?
The first thing to remember is this: The audience is on your side. This being the case, anything that comes out of your mouth is going to be fine (ie, “right”), because we all know that you are making it up as you go. You don’t have to fear saying the “wrong” thing because the whole concept of “the wrong thing” doesn’t exits in improv. You could say the worst possible thing when on stage (and by that I don’t mean the most “profane” thing, but rather the most awkward, nonsensical statement) and it would still be “right” because we all know you are making it up as you go.
So why not use this to your advantage? If there is no wrong thing you can say, then anything you say is, by default, going to be right. And if it’s going to be right, then there is no reason to not say it that way.
Playing god:
When you speak in an improv scene, let your voice carry with all the conviction of your holy righteousness. YOU are SPEAKING. The godlike act of creation is happening with every syllable that you utter, bringing fourth something out of the nothingness. You are the burning bush, the thunder of Old Testament declaration. When you speak, don’t be afraid to say to say your words with conviction, even if you are just making it up. No one is going to “call” you on this… no one is going to say “you’re full of shit, you just made that up!”. We all know you are making it up, that’s the whole point. If you weren’t making it up, it would't be improv. So when you speak, say the words like YOU MEAN them.
Make a commitment, sort of:
Sometimes, when you’re on stage and you have no idea what’s going to happen next, there’s a big fear of committing to “the wrong thing”. After all, you’d really rather not say something that could potentially screw over your partner (or yourself) and end up making the scene go badly. In these situations, it would seem like the right thing to do is just not say anything at all. But the problem with that, however, is that saying nothing is actually worse that saying the “wrong” thing.
One of the times this comes into play the most is when someone asks you a question (ie, pimping) and you have no clue as to the answer. Here are some examples of how making direct statements can help.
Player A: “What’s in that box?”
Player B: “Oh, you’ll find out!”
or
A: “Who are you?”
B: “No one to be trifled with!”
or
A: “Where are we?”
B: “Exactly where we’re supposed to be.”
In each case, Player B has answered with direct, definitive statements. But has done so without limiting the direction in which the scene can go.
Remember: There’s a big difference between committing to an idea and committing to your lines. As odd as it may sound, even if you’re not sure what to say in an improv scene, saying something boldly is always better than saying nothing at all.
Enlist in the KISS army:
Sometimes if you’re not sure what to say it seems appropriate to just vomit out a whole slew of words, and hope that some of them will be the inspiration for what will certainly be a brilliant scene. (Yeah, right.)
Even if you are scared or nervous, keep it simple and to the point. Simple is good. Simple is easy for you and easy for the audience. For example, if you are in a scene and your Boss says “Jenkins, where is that report I asked for?” you could respond:
“Oh, that, yeah, well, I was photocopying it for you but the Xerox machine became possessed by Satan, see, and before I could stop it, the report was, you know, eaten by aliens from the planet of Gay Proctologists… and so, I, um, don’t have it right now.”
or
“You’ll get it when I get my raise.”
See the difference? By keeping it simple, you make it easer for yourself, for your partner, and for the audience. By keeping it simple it’s less likely that you’ll end up dragging the scene off topic (which is often the death nail of improv). You don’t have to take everyone (including yourself) on some wild, overly complex, ride just to have an interesting journey.
- Not beign funny: The other kind of comedy. -
I’m a big fan of action movies. I love car chases, seeing whole buildings implode, watching someone jumping in slow-motion while shooting two nine millimeter nickel-plated hand guns. But as much as I love the action in action movies, I’ve never seen a movie where the entire 90 minutes was squib-hits and screeching tires. Why? Because in a movie you can’t just start with the scene where the bad guy gets impaled. You need time to set up the action. Between the speedboat chase and the gunfight in the orphanage, there’s always some “down time” – if for no other reason than to learn about the dark, haunting past of the reluctant hero (who only pulls his gun when he has too).
Well, improv is just like that (except we’re not getting too old for this shiiitttttttttt). You don’t have to jump right into the “funny”. Not every line that comes out of your mouth has to be followed by the laughter of the audience. It’s perfectly all right (desirable, even) to have “down time” between things that are funny. There’s no actual tip here – other than never worry that what you just said didn’t get a laugh. Give yourself (and the audience) the luxury of setting things up so that when the funny comes (and it will) we all “get it”. Trust me on this one.
Well, that’s a lot of words on words. The next time you are on stage, and you get griped in that horrible moment where you just don’t know what to say – tell your fear to take a hike. Forget about the consequences and step boldly into the abyss. Say something, and say it like you mean it – and I think you’ll find that your voice sounds pretty damm good.